Bullet Train (2022)
🦛🦛1/2
By the time the credits rolled I wanted to like Bullet Train more then I actually did. It has a fun premise, good bits and a great cast but it just kept getting in its own way. The script was trying so hard to be clever that it stoped being clever and stumbled into dumb a number of times. The action equally wants to be slick and clever but try’s to hard. The confusing plot reveals itself to be logical in the end but by the reveal I didn’t care. Plus it wasn’t a “oh that’s clever” revelation like the more recent Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery which hit streaming services around the same time. I saw both movies within a week. It is a shame because the good parts are good. I had heard a lot of praise for Bryan Tyree Hill as one of a duo of hitman who has a passion for the Thomas the Train cartoon. Tyree Hill is very good and the Thomas the Train bit is the one bit of clever that worked from start to finish. I liked all the performances. I especially enjoyed Brad Pitt gives one of his most genial and entertaining performances as the put upon protagonist Ladybug, a capable of violence criminal courier who doesn’t like guns. Pitt plays Ladybug just right, exasperated and frustrated by being embroiled in events that he doesn’t understand but that seem determined to get him killed. I won’t bother to explain the plot. If you decide to watch the movie it would be a disservice. It is enough to know know that a bunch of criminal types are stuck together on a Bullet Train in Japan. Nothing is what it first seems, not everyone is who they at first seem and the storytelling is nonlinear. If your new to movies or require low smarts from your action movies you might like this one, I suspect my teenage sons would. The cast alone almost made it worth it for me. The trouble is I have been on this train before and all the flash and sleight of hand didn’t make it original or smart enough for keep me from being disappointed.
Recommended Instead
Though it lacks violence Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery has a better twisty plot and an equally eccentric cast of characters helmed by a great cast. Alternatively if you are looking for violence Guy Ritchie’s Snatch is a similarly visually stylish movie about the shenanigans of eccentric criminals, a great cast and also has one of Brad Pitt’s most entertaining performances.
Thought’s? Feel free to weigh in.
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Where to watch
Bullet Train: Streaming on Amazon Prime
Buy or Rent on Amazon Prime and Apple TV
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery: Streaming on Netflix
Snatch: Rent or Buy on Amazon Prime and Apple TV